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Is It Dangerous To Be Black?

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

      With all of the recent news about black people being caught up in a lot of "situations" or issues, it is imperative that if you want to stay "woke" and stay alive and be black in these United States, you need to learn the new code words so that you can make it back home after a long day in negotiating these mean streets.

      I have listed below some of the slang shorthand statements that epitomizes the daily struggles and fight for dignity and freedom that too many people of color suffer just in order to make it day to day.
 


Lafe Tolliver, Esq

     You should memorize each of the below euphemisms so that when you hear it or it is text to you, you won't make a "Kanye" statement and become fodder for the tabloids!

SWB...SWIMMING WHILE BLACK

SHWB...SHOPPING WHILE BLACK

EWB...EATING WHILE BLACK

LWB...LOOKING WHILE BLACK

SWB...SNORING WHILE BLACK

NWB...NAPPING WHILE BLACK

WWB...WALKING WHILE BLACK

DWB...DRIVING WHILE BLACK

RWB...RUNNING WHILE BLACK

BWB...BANKING WHILE BLACK

RWB...READING WHILE BLACK

TEWB...TEXTING WHILE BLACK

HWB...HITCHHIKING WHILE BLACK

DAWB...DATING WHILE BLACK

WOWB...WORSHIPPING WHILE BLACK

LWB...LAUGHING WHILE BLACK

BAWB...BAR/B/QUEING WHILE BLACK

SUBWB...SUNBATHING WHILE BLACK

STWB...STUDYING WHILE BLACK

CWB...CELEBRATING WHILE BACK

PWB...PRAYING WHILE BLACK

CRWB...CRYING WHILE BLACK

PRWB...PROTESTING WHILE BLACK

FWB...FIGHTING WHILE BLACK

PSWB...PLAYING SPORTS WHILE BLACK

KWB...KISSING WHILE BLACK

GWB...GARDENING WHILE BLACK

REWB...RENTING WHILE BLACK

LIWB...LIVING WHILE BLACK

MWB...MARRYING WHILE BLACK

POWB...POOR WHILE BLACK

RIWB...RICH WHILE BLACK

DYWB...DYING WHILE BLACK

TRWB...TRAVELING WHILE BLACK

JWB...JAILED WHILE BLACK

IWB...IMAGINING WHILE BLACK

HWB...HOPING WHILE BLACK

TWB...THINKING WHILE BLACK

HWB...HARASSED WHILE BLACK

KWB...KILLED WHILE BLACK

MUWB...MURDERED WHILE BLACK

CWB...CONNED WHILE BLACK

FWB...FRAMED WHILE BLACK

SEWB...SEGREGATED WHILE BLACK

JOWB...JOGGING WHILE BLACK

ECWB...EATING CHICKEN WHILE BLACK

DANWB...DANCING WHILE BLACK

MMWB...MAKING MONEY WHILE BLACK

    Make sure that if you are engaged in any of the above activities or events that you carefully scope out your surroundings and make sure that if you have been photographed or videoed on someone's smart phone, that you clearly yell out one of the above abbreviated statements so that if you are arrested or tased by either the police or a white vigilante group that at least your protest was recorded.

     As you can tell from the above listings, there are not too many things that black folks do can in the age of Trump that are possibly not life threatening. Seemingly, too many people and law enforcement officials are anxious and eager to shut you down, so, a word to the wise, stay alert.

     The best advice I can give you? Simple: stay at home 24/7. Keep the blinds drawn. Never go outside except to buy groceries and even then, do not be uppity and buy top shelf grocery items because that will bring undue attention to yourself.

      Always talk in a low whisper and avoid eye contact whenever possible. Wear old clothes and walk slowly because if you walk fast, that means you are trying to evade the law.

     If asked your opinion on any subject, wait for a moment and with your head bowed, quietly answer with, "I best leave those matters to white folks."

      If you have a job, stay away from any water cooler conversations and when work is over, go directly home...no dawdling!

     Like the recent story of the black woman who was a student at Yale University and had the brashness to take a nap in the commons area of her dorm but yet when the police were called on her by a white fellow student, she forgot the above, NWB, and paid the price for it.

     Be smarter! Don't nap in public! You will be found out and reported!

 

Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@Juno.com

    

   
   


Copyright © 2018 by [The Sojourner's Truth]. All rights reserved.
Revised: 08/16/18 14:12:10 -0700.


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