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When Curtis Strode became a father, selflessness was a trait that he had
to adopt and practice daily in order to be engaged in his
children’s lives. Though he had complications with his first
son’s mother, Strode was married to his now wife by the time
his son was two years old.
“That’s who he
knows as mom. He didn’t have motherly love right away
growing up.”
Strode’s son’s birth mom passed away when he was 10 years old.
“That void was kind
of filled, not having his biological mom, but having a woman
that was strong enough to be there for him as a mom.”
Strode heard about Brothers United from his brother-in-law who advised
him to join. The program gave him an opportunity to get
involved and hear other men’s stories and troubles about
being a father. He joined because he wanted to know that he
wasn’t the only father going through things he was dealing
with.
Initially, he was only interested in attending the group for job
opportunities, but Brothers United soon became something
more for Strode.
“When I got there and was going through the classes, it was more to
it. It was more like a brotherhood at the time to help you
talk about issues and deal with things.”
While in Brothers United, Strode learned a lot of information,
especially practices for how to be a better co-parent.
“Sometimes you have
to let things be what they are and come to a mutual ground
even though things may not be perfect between you and your
co-parent. I do have a daughter outside of my home and
co-parenting was very hard. I even had to go to court. BU
Nation showed up to let them know that I was trying to be a
father.”
To this day, Strode still struggles with co-parenting with his
daughter’s mother. Due to attempting to go for full custody
of his daughter, which Strode believed was the right thing
to do at the moment, their relationship is now strained.
Even though his daughter and his co-parent seemingly don’t
want him in their lives, he continues to try to communicate
and show that he’s there for them.
Brothers United reminded Strode of his strength, which encouraged him to
continue pressing on.
“Brothers United
taught me that pretty much you have to stand up. You have to
own up to your discretions, whatever it is that’s standing
in your way. You have to stand up and fight for it to do
what you need to do. And that goes back to my childhood,
what I was taught as a child.”
Mr. Strode continues to carry what he learned from the program and apply
it to his life, thankful that he had an opportunity to be
part of a program dedicated to the betterment of fathers.
“Brothers United is
a good program for young black men who are struggling with
how to be a father or how to get a job or how to get through
the system of being a father. They’re a good program for
young men that are growing up. At this point I’m 38. I've
been through a lot that taught me how to be a father a long
time ago. I understand what the program stands for. It’s
still men my age who didn’t have that growing up, so they
wouldn’t know. Some of us didn't have fathers growing up, so
we were never taught how to be a father. This program came
along for a lot of us.”
If you are interested in joining The Brothers United Program or have
someone you want to refer : Call us at (419) 279-6297 or
www.pathwaytoledo.org
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