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A Mental Health Moment
Jealousy and Envy
By Bernadette
Joy Graham, MA, LPC, NCC, Licensed Mental Health Therapist
Guest Column
Jealousy and envy are two of the
most confused emotions people feel. So how do you tell
the difference? Well it comes down to this: Envy
occurs when we lack or don’t have a desired attribute
enjoyed by another individual. This could be something
material, beauty, even a pleasant personality.
Jealousy on the other hand
happens when something we already have such as a special
relationship (BFF) or even a romantic relationship is
threatened by a third person. To keep it clear, envy
involves a two-person situation and jealousy involves a
three-person situation. Envy reacts to not having
something we want and jealousy is a reaction to a threat of
losing something(s) or someone. |
Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPC, NCC,
Licensed Mental Health
Therapist |
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Jealousy and envy can wreak havoc on an individual’s mental
and emotional well-being. People in turmoil of
jealousy can suffer from raised blood pressure, high
adrenalin levels, heart rate, weakened immune systems,
anxiety and insomnia to name a few. It can rob us of
oxytocin which is the bonding hormone that makes couples and
lovers want to touch and cuddle.
Bottom line, jealousy and envy are overwhelming with
feelings of being insecure. Most people do feel
jealousy from time to time but on the extreme end of this
spectrum interferes with day-to-day life. If you find
yourself on the extreme end, consider speaking with a
therapist to better understand how and why this is
interfering with your life.
Anger and sadness come into play at times and life can
become all about these thoughts toward a person or persons.
Resentment can set in and an individual begins to conjure up
lies, negative stories that after repeating over and over
begin to believe themselves.
Take a mental health moment to check yourself or others on
jealous behaviors such as anger toward a person for an
unknown reason or something mysterious designed that has no
obvious possibility, also strong feelings about wanting to
cause others harm, resentment and difficulty feeling happy
when the other individual receives something positive such
as a job, a raise, marriage proposal, a pregnancy, anything
that you have always wanted but never received.
Pathological jealousy which is an extreme form of jealousy
can be a sign of an underlying mental issue such as
schizophrenia, and anxiety. It is often used to describe
jealousy that causes a person in a relationship to have
irrational worries and they begin to sabotage anyone around
them who is willing to listen. They begin to act
abusively or unsafely toward others especially a partner or
spouse.
It is normal to experience mild
jealousy in a platonic or romantic relationship,
Jealousy can become destructive when it is frequent, intense
and irrational. People become jealous for many reasons
to include low self-esteem, loneliness, insecurity,
competition and trust issues.
If you feel you have suffered
from long-lasting feelings of jealousy, pervasive, or severe
this may indicate help is needed to assess for
schizophrenia, paranoia, psychosis, attachment issues,
anxiety and borderline personality disorder. There is
help and you don’t have to suffer these feelings. Seek
out a professional mental health provider with the help of
friends and loved ones you don’t have to go this alone.
Bernadette Graham is a Licensed Professional Mental Health
Counselor, National Certified Counselor and Certified Grief
Recovery Specialist. Provide feedback or reach out at
graham.bernadette@gmail.com For appointment
information please call 419.409.4929 (Telehealth is
available for ongoing and new clients at this time). In
person office hours will be opening in September. Call
today to schedule your appointment. www.bjgrahamcounseling.com
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