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What was once the expected of a usual work or
school day has changed drastically just within a year. The
majority of each of our lives have changed and what was once
the expected, we have adapted to just expect the
unexpected. For instance, at the time of this writing,
voting was still ongoing but by the time this is read, the
United States will either have a new president or the same
for another four years. Either way, none of know what to
expect even to answer the simple question am I okay?
Since my most early years as a mental health
therapist, clients often ask me “am I okay?” The only
person who can say we are really okay is ourselves. The
most I can do as a mental health therapist is help an
individual find insight into what they feel as problems,
what they want or need to change to improve their
functioning or new perspectives on life to heal and become
what they feel is okay.
I, as just an individual outside of my
therapist self, find that being okay is okay but we can
always be better, we can be fantastic, amazing and a wealth
of other positive adjectives to just be. We are the
architects of our own lives. There is that in which we can
create and change and there is that in which we cannot. The
structure of our DNA is set in stone. We can put a wig on
it but it is what it is underneath it all.
I would refuse to argue or debate such things
as privilege as some of us are born into an easier layer of
concrete to mold such as race, class, wealth even countries
of origin deemed better than others but even then, anyone
coming into this world on the worst of circumstance still
has the freedom of free will. If you think you are then you
are if you think you are not then you will not be….speaking
in terms of are you okay?
As a therapist, one of the biggest problems I
see that people face are themselves. Within 10 mins of a
session, I have learned some of the most negative traits and
thoughts of a person. They put themselves down, they live
on repetitions of past failures and the wrong doings of
others and then ask me do I think they are okay.
Take a mental health moment and ask yourself
are you okay? If you find the answer to not be to your
liking, ask further questions such as what would make you
okay, how would you get there and what would it feel like?
Positive self-affirmations can make a world of difference
and while they may not change the world, they will change
your world. You don’t need a degree in architecture to
create the perfect version of you but you do need yourself
to be okay, to be okay and if not better. The next time you
hear your self say something on the lines of I hate my
hair, I’m a failure or I’m not good enough, Demolish
your vocabulary and rebuild it to say
I love my hair, I am great, I am and will
always be better and I expect the best outcome of all of my
experiences.
Bernadette Graham is a Licensed Professional Mental Health
Counselor, National Certified Counselor and Certified Grief
Recovery Specialist. Provide feedback or reach out at
graham.bernadette@gmail.com For appointment information
please call 419.409.4929
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