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No easy task…except for now. I have been inundated with e
mails and phone calls asking that I handicap this election
cycle so the voters will have a reasonable chance to make a
half way reasonable vote.
I was extremely reluctant to do so since I can be
somewhat heavy handed in putting my X’s and
O’s in the right columns.
After intense pressure from the fraternal group known as
Boule (Note: it is my solemn custom that whenever I even
utter that profound name, that I pause for a moment of
silent awe and wonder……), I decided to hesitantly proceed
with offering some voter helps about the current crop of
both possible and current candidates that want to be called,
“Da Maya!”
Mind you, my expertise is not borne of any gifted
insights but purely based upon my thoughts of what comes to
mind when their name pops into my memory.
I have struggled for some days trying to jot down some
questions so that the voter confused or otherwise, can take
away from my comments, an understanding of what is good or
not good for
Toledo.
I hope that this effort will at least reduce the dozens
of daily e mails and clamorous calls about my getting
engaged in this mercurial election cycle.
QUESTION ONE:
Which of the below persons are not running for Mayor of
Toledo:
(a) Daffy Duck
(b) Oprah Winfrey
(c) Kim Kardashian
(d) Peppa Pig
(e) all of the above
QUESTION TWO: Which one of the below
possible candidates for mayor called former Mayor Mike Bell,
KING KONG!
(a) Carty Finkbeiner
(b) Finkbeiner, Carty
(c) Carty
(d) C. Finkbeiner
QUESTION THREE: Name the newspaper that
seemingly has told the current mayor that the honeymoon is
over!
(a) Toledo Blade
(b) Toledo Blade
(c) Toledo Blade
(d) Philadelphia Inquirer
QUESTION FOUR: Which one of the below
personalities ran and lost and lost in part for his fawning
support of Republican Governor Kasich’s Senate Bill 5
proposition. Hint: he loves country line dancing and wearing
spiffy cowboy boots.
(a) Former Mayor Michael Bell
(b) Denzell Washington
(c) Casper the friendly ghost
(d) The rapper named, 2 Far Gone!
QUESTION FIVE: Which of the below persons
running for mayor said in the past that if we did not vote
for him or her, that God was going to punish Toledo? Hint:
their economic development plan was building a giant Ferris
Wheel on the downtown waterfront.
(1) Opal Covey
(2) Rick Perry
(3) Rick Santorum
(4) Huckleberry Hound
QUESTION SIX: Which below candidate for mayor is
really a staunch Republican but is brashly running as a
newly minted Independent but thinks the voters will not
notice that Three Card Monte stunt?
(1) Sandy Drabik n/k/a: Sandy Collins
(2) Merlin the Magician
(3) Houdini
(4) The Shadow!
QUESTION SEVEN: Which of the below two union
pairings are seemingly having a bad hair day that the
current mayor has not drop kicked the current fire chief
from the roof of the Government Center Building?
(1) Cafeteria and sanitation workers unions
(2) Zoo employees and tree trimmers unions
(3) Library and meter maids unions
(4) Police and fire fighters unions
QUESTION EIGHT: What of the following persons
may yet still enter the race for Mayor in Toledo but just
have not done so…yet.
(1) Donald Trump
(2) Louis Farrakhan
(3) Donna Owens
(4) Mitch McConnell
(5) Yo’ Mama!
(6) All of the above
QUESTION NINE: Which of the below voting blocks
have the potential to win or sway elections but they are now
fizzing out and staying away from the polls in alarming
numbers?
(1) South side voters
(2) North end voters
(3) West side voters
(4) Point Place voters
(5) Black and Hispanic voters
I trust and hope that the above questions will be a
benefit to the voters who must face a challenging task of
separating the wheat from the chaff in the upcoming
election.
Hopefully, you will be able to use acute discernment
and pick and choose the proper person to lead Toledo and not
be misled by a lot of hoopla and nonsense from the mayoral
candidates that blow a lot of smoke; and use trite terms
such as, “Keep the dream alive” or “Carty gets results!” or
other inane gibberish that boils down to mush!
For the above answers, simply send me a non-traceable
money order for $57.23 and I will tell you where to find the
code!
Contact Lafe Tolliver at Tolliver@Juno.com
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