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It often starts when a brown baby is born.
When her first daughter entered the world, Millner says
that, though she was married, insured and well-employed, the
hospital treated her reprehensibly and she had to be vocal
about it – something that she says other mothers of color
have experienced. She was also criticized for wanting to
breast-feed her child, and again for breast-feeding as long
as she did.
Millner, mother of two young women, remembers the joys – oh,
the joys! – and the aggravations of having small daughters.
Raising brown girls means teaching them to love their curly
hair and their “bubble-butts.”
It means making them understand that they might never have
straight blonde hair but that boys will still like them.
It’s showing them how to love their bodies by loving yours.
Raising older children of color means being sure they
understand their history, so they know why certain rap songs
are inappropriate. It’s giving them confidence to explore,
swim, bike (but not too far) and play to win. No matter how
hard it is to find a bedspread with black ballerinas on it,
it means you keep looking.
You’ll particularly need to teach confidence. You’ll learn
to heed some advice, ignore others, and either reach for
your own mother or miss her fiercely. And if, like Millner’s
stepson, your child is a boy who’s almost a man, raising him
means making sure he knows the warnings…
Much like morning sickness, weight gain, and pregnancy,
advice arrives right along with the announcement of a new
baby. Some of it’s crazy-talk, while some of it – like
what’s inside My Brown Baby - is absolutely useful.
While the shelves are full to bursting with pregnancy and
child rearing books, author Denene Millner tackles the
subject from a different angle, one that’s perhaps more rare
and that speaks directly to parents without a lot of fuss.
Millner uses humor, but it’s clear when she’s being serious;
she’s also common-sense and offers a nice mix of old-school,
modern ideas, and new viewpoints on things your Mama never
had to consider.
While Millner says this book is for parents of color – which
is true - a white mother might find some useful advice in
here; even though this book isn’t for her, there’s no
denying that some things are universal. Still, My Brown
Baby is for just what it says and your brown baby
will appreciate it.
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