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Following
Memorial Day, our thoughts naturally turn towards summer.
And, for African-American elders like my wife’s aunt Evie
Lee, the coming of summer, in turn, evokes cultural memories
and traditions.
Evie Lee,
now the family’s matriarch and keeper of our
African-American legacy, very strongly believes that family
and food are at the core of our culture and, at 82 years
old, her greatest desire is to have a family reunion. Evie
Lee, like the black family reunion ritual, helps to
cultivate a rich context for transmitting, learning and
sustaining core cultural values.
So, while
helping to plan this year’s attempt to bring multiple
generations of our family together, my wife and I discussed
her profile.
Every
black family has an Aunt Evie Lee. Aunt Evie Lee is:
1. A
Fierce Protector
She
sometimes is someone who is very close to your mother and/or
acts as a surrogate mother and is always present. She raises
hell a lot, but deep down inside you just know she loves
you. She is one who will defend you to the max and it’s like
“If you mess with my child, I will tear you limb from limb
to limb.” She will even fight you if she has to and will
also cuss you out. She has a short fuse but if you allow her
the opportunity to rant, she will start laughing as soon as
she lets her steam out because she is not wired to stay
angry for long.
2. An
Untrained Medical Expert
Despite
the lack of formal training, Evie Lees have extensive files
that they carry around in their head that include family
characteristics and genetic details. They know everything
about everybody in the family, including the family’s
medical history. They often, almost comically and certainly
unintentionally,
provide necessary information about the risk of specific
family health concerns.
“Evie Lee once told me,” my wife says, “Well,
you know you had a cousin with this big old thing on the
side of her neck and eyes bugged out.” She didn’t know that
it was a goiter and a symptom of a genetic thyroid
condition. When told it likely had to do with a thyroid
condition, Evie Lee, laughed and replied, “We just thought
it was supposed to be like that.”
On the
other hand, without a formal medical education, Evie Lees
somehow are able to instantly identify your condition and
provide a diagnosis as you walk into a room. Evie Lee, just
by looking at someone who walks through the front door, can
immediately tell if she is recently pregnant. Evie Lee can
also prescribe exactly the home or family remedy that will
work for any physical ailment.
3. A
Generous Caretaker
Evie
Lees earnestly care about family members and are generous.
For instance, Evie Lees’ credo is: “I may have, but if you
don’t have then I don’t have.” They are true redistributors
of wealth and will buy clothing, furniture or food for you
and even take you in and provide living space in their own
home if you are in need.
4. A
Convener and Cook
When
Evie Lees come to town they cook and gather everyone
together around food. She’ll take out her ice cream maker
so that the making of homemade ice cream becomes “an event.”
She always prepares her foods from scratch, taking her time
to slowly go through all the steps in order to share, not
only long held family recipes for those willing to closely
observe, but also wisdom and stories about family
experiences.
“I
learned about most of the things that happened in my mom’s
and Evie Lee’s childhood while they were preparing food.
They’d be baking cakes and when they started to bake they
started telling all these stories about “Uncle Pop Gun” and
various other family members,” says my wife, Willetta. “And
then they even take the conversation up several more notches
while they serve and we begin to eat.”
5. A
Keeper of the Legacy
For
certain, black families are less connected than we have been
in the past. Sometimes the disconnection is because some of
us are still nursing old wounds or because we are still
holding on to petty feuds about what someone did or did not
do years ago. Sometimes we are too busy or “preoccupied”
truthfully because we are holding grudges long after we have
forgotten the reason for the grudge.
However,
Evie Lee passes down important information and much needed
family tradition, culture and norms. Her stories (and
recipes) provide a connection to the past and without her we
lose a great part of our ancestry because there is nobody
left to tell the stories.
A Final
Piece of Wisdom:
There’s
an old story -
“What
became of the Black People of Sumer,” the traveler asked the
old man, “for ancient records show that the Black People of
Sumer were a proud people; a great people, a noble people.
They were hard-working and had overcome tremendous
obstacles. They had started last and finished first; got in
on the bottom and finished on top. But, eventually they
became extinct and no one heard from them again.
What
happened to them?”
“Ah,”
the old man sighed. “They lost their history, so they died…”
In other
words, knowing the truth about who you are as well as whose
you are – is critical, no, indispensible, to our survival.
So, get
the cards and the table ready. Prepare the barbeque grill.
And, tell the DJ to get the playlist ready! When my people
party, we party hearty!
Contact Rev. Donald Perryman, D.Min, at
drdlperryman@centerofhopebaptist.org
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