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For most of your life – and, for that matter, for most of
your Mama’s life, your Grandad’s life, possibly your Great-Grandad’s
life – white people have been telling black folks what to
do. That’s why you need this book; in fact, it “might be the
most important book you buy this year…” because it’s by a
black man who translates the confusing parts of what white
people say to black people. It’s a book for black people,
but Hughley recommends that you pass it around because
there’s always gonna be somebody next.
The first thing you need to know might be the most
important: how not to get shot. To start, learn how to
“comply with police orders,” because black people, says
Hughley, are “very target-y-looking.” If you’re a
mind-reader, that’s good; that’s what you really need to be.
Look online and you’ll see that white people have made it
simple: “’ Don’t break the law and you won’t get shot.’”
Other things you might want to remember: Don’t use your
pockets. Don’t reach for a weapon, a driver’s license, or
dreams. Anything can look like a gun, so don’t carry
anything, ever, at any time.
“Do be an angel,” but understand that things will still get
“twisted” to make you look bad if you’re arrested – even
when you’re innocent. Don’t drive a car that’s too nice.
Never accidentally get lost in unfamiliar neighborhoods.
Dress “less threatening” and “don’t match the description.”
If you have to have tattoos, “get ones that are butterflies
or Smurfs…”
Know your history. And if somebody brings up the subject of
taking a knee and the NFL, remind them “who brought politics
into the sport in the first place.”
In a sea of humor books that are not funny at all, How
Not to Get Shot is refreshing because it’s very
funny, in the most sarcastic way possible.
And yet, authors D.L. Hughley and Doug Moe have managed to
do something unique: they’ll make you snort just before they
leap into serious-as-a-judge territory. No, this book isn’t
ha-ha-hilarious all the time; it’s stand-up comedy on a
page, but it’s also edgy and biting, and it talks to readers
about things they’ve already been thinking but perhaps just
haven’t said. Hughley and Moe offer humor – but also
commentary about events, past and current; real advice,
usable and solid; as well as shared outrage.
And so. This book is funny, no matter how you cut it. It’ll
make you want to read bits of it aloud to your friends – but
it’s also sobering and nothing to laugh about. Once you
start How Not to Get Shot, though, you’ll love it and
you’ll never want to
Stop.
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