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The holidays are
considered cheerful and the celebrations bring together
family and friends enjoying great foods and drinks. Yet
somehow each year we seem to figure out ways to fill those
holiday dates with stress. Gift buying especially can put a
strain on our wallets and many of us over do it only to be
miserable when the credit card bills arrive. We make the
sacrifice of making a purchase instead of paying the bills
due and later ask ourselves “was it worth it?” Another
stressor may be having kids at home out of school for the
holiday break and finding child care or finding things to
keep them busy.
Those are just a few
stressors named above and unfortunately, individually we all
uniquely have our everyday stressors in our lives throughout
the whole year. Stress can be very debilitating. While in
some ways it keeps us on our toes per se, making sure we get
things done and other ways it can cause us to behave in some
very erratic ways that can tear apart one’s life. Watching
the news through the holidays season, we hear about fatal
car accidents, gun violence, fires, physical violence and so
much more.
Everything I have
mentioned, we all know but what we need to learn and know is
having our own coping toolbox and ensuring those in our
homes are just as well equipped because we each have our own
stressors. A coping toolbox can consist of things that help
you get through trying times. For example, if you have been
diagnosed with depression and anxiety (they often come
together), your toolbox may include the following:
1.
Positive self-talk (negative self-talk makes us feel
worse and the things we say are often not true…..”I’m a
terrible person, I’m ugly, I’m fat, I never do anything
right.” Some examples of positive self-talk can be: ”I’m a
human being; everyone makes mistakes; I don’t care what
other people think of me; I’m great at making other’s feel
better.”
2.
Humor. Laughing causes our
brain to produce chemicals that make us happy, we smile, we
feel good and we have so many sources of humor. (I
personally like stand-up comedian type shows in person, on
you-tube, various cable network programs. I can listen to
it in my car, in my office, while taking a walk and so
forth.
3.
Surround yourself with other people.
Isolating is one of the first things individuals diagnosed
with depression do whether it is staying in bed all day,
calling off work, turning off our phones, refusing social
activities. No one’s asking you to be the life of the party
but invite a friend over to watch a movie, enjoy a lunch
together, take a walk together.
4.
Exercise.
It’s been scientifically proven that exercise is a key
component in warding off symptoms of depression and an
overall way of feeling better. No one’s asking you to
prepare for a marathon. Be realistic. Begin exercising one
day a week, then two, then three…..15 mins will turn into 30
mins then 45 then an hour.
5.
Find a hobby.
If you have difficulty finding a hobby, here is your
opportunity to try new things. Learning is a great hobby.
A second language, sewing, painting, music, braiding hair,
fixing cars…….
So, there you have it an example of five things for a coping
toolbox. A few important things to note are: share your
toolbox with others such as your family. Know your triggers
and take note and let your family know when you need to pull
out your toolbox. When your symptoms begin to escalate,
tell your family how you are feeling and how they can help.
If your family does not understand how you are feeling, it
can begin a snowball effect and they take things personally
and before you know it, words are being said that are not
truly meant, feelings begin to grow into unnecessary
problems.
Take a mental health
moment and create your own coping toolbox. We all need one
because we all have issues and problems. We are all human
and none of us possess superhero qualities. You can always
add things to your toolbox or create multiple one’s for
multiple issues. A coping toolbox will greatly improve your
holiday experiences with a better chance of enjoyment as
compared to fist fighting in public over something as small
as a chicken wing.
Bernadette Graham
is a Licensed Professional Counselor, National Certified
Counselor and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She is
available for presentations and speaking engagements on
mental health topics. Provide feedback or reach out at
graham.bernadette@gmail.com For appointment information
please call 419.409.4929
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