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Dr. Donald L. Perryman has been a mentor and father-figure
to so many in the church, and in the community. Today, I
want to focus on the father he was at home. Father/daughter
relationships are very complex. Fathers parent very
differently from mothers. Whatever the parenting style,
fathers play such an integral role in the lives of children,
and especially girls.
This is my father’s day tribute to my dad, Donald L.
Perryman. Warm, fuzzy and affectionate is not the way we do
things. But, this tribute still gives me great pleasure
because I can shed light on one of the most talked about and
misunderstood relationship – OURS.
I guess being a part of the church and the community
subjects you to an excessive amount of off-base speculation.
My father’s parenting has often been labeled as
“over-protective and overbearing,” on one spectrum, and on
the other spectrum, I was labeled as “Rev’s son.”
The reality is that he is VERY protective, and yes, he has
always kind of treated me like a boy. He calls me “Junior.”
For some reason, he has always believed that I can do
literally ANYTHING!
He rarely interferes and does not feel the need to swoop in
and save the day, as if I am vulnerable and helpless. He in
his heart thinks I’m WONDERWOMAN – and has raised me to be
comfortable in that. Where as some would have felt burdened
by his high expectations, I believe that his approach
demonstrates these compliments:
·
I am independent – and not needy
·
I can think for myself
·
I can speak for myself
·
I am strong
When I was about four, I remember him telling me – “You are
very special. God has given you something special, and he
has something special for you to do. Do not let ANYONE get
in the way of God’ plan for your life.” To this day, I’ve
done my best to honor that. He has always wanted to protect
me, as I am his child, but it is also about protecting that
special mission he believes I am destined for.
At the same time, his approach to raising me has been to
make me tough enough to go out in this world, survive, and
thrive. And for that, I am very grateful! While I really do
appreciate all of the warm affection, I know that one day
either I will depart from loved ones, or they will depart
from me. I like to focus on the things I learn from loved
ones, so that their wisdom and ways of being can for ever
live in my heart. So these are just a few of the great
wisdoms my dad taught me.
·
Jesus IS REAL!
·
Back up your talking about Jesus with the life you live
·
Religion is about more than emotion - discipline, study and
love are equally important
·
How to play the piano, take photos, play sports
·
How to speak, play and sing in front of large crowds –
whether they are supportive, ambivalent, and hostile
·
How to do everything with conscientiousness and excellence
·
How to successfully navigate men – how to hear what they are
saying, what they are not saying, and what they really mean
– how to set boundaries and limits
·
How to love with my eyes wide open, lose love, and embrace
life in the aftermath
·
Relationship breakdowns do not have to be anyone’s fault –
there are seasonal relationships, and some relationships are
just incompatible
·
To be feminine without being a fool - to approach situations
with a healthy level of suspicion
·
How to be multidimensional and diverse – and navigate in all
types of social circles
·
How take risks – to not fear closed doors
·
How to be assertive
·
Ho to be confident in assuming leadership
·
How to make NO APOLOGIES for who I am
·
How to serve others and the community with gladness
·
How to make decisions based on the future rather than the
here and now
·
How to work tirelessly - the work day is complete when the
work is complete
But, at this season in my
life, the lessons he taught me that I find myself needing
the most are how to keep fighting. He taught me how to box
physically, and definitely how to argue! But, he also taught
me that my most powerful weapon is my mind. These are the
fighting tips that I have to use so much during this period:
·
Protect your vulnerable “psychological” organs – don’t let
people have access to your dreams or your fears
·
Winning is not just about how many punches you can throw,
but how many you can take
·
Many can throw jabs, but it takes a real fighter to endure
16 rounds
·
The real winner is the one that can endure to the end
without falling apart
And, from any one who
knows Dr. Donald L. Perryman – he can throw AND take punches
with the best of them – physically, mentally, and
spiritually. Those who have tried to block his anointing and
many, many talents are baffled at the way he continues to
stand and reinvent himself, his ministry, and his work in
the community. YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD MAN (GOD’S ANOINTED)
DOWN!!!
You always pronounced
greatness upon me, but today I say to you –
“Eyes haven’t seen, nor
have ears heard, the things God has prepared for YOU!”
THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!
Love, Tracee
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