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Etiquette in the 21st
Century: Because Manners Matter
By Robin Reeves
Soulcial Scene Contributor
Is etiquette a thing of the
past?
I’ve been asked this question
over and over again and my answer is and will always be NO,
etiquette is not a thing of the past.
Even though times have changed
from those days when marriage was only between a man and a
woman, when there was no conference call for meetings, when
families ate dinner together, when open-toe shoes were not
allowed in the office, when men removed their hats inside
the church and restaurant, when having a conversation did
not include social media and acronyms like SMH, IDK, LMBO
when leggings were not worn as pants …
Well, you get my point. Things
have changed, even the word “etiquette” is not as popular as
it once was. However, the concept of proper etiquette is
still very much required and desperately needed today in the
social and professional scene.
So, what is etiquette? Etiquette
is that group of social behaviors or proprieties of conduct
established in any class or community or for any occasion.
It is the ability to make others feel comfortable with you
in whatever environment you are in. It is your ability to
demonstrate decorum.
It is a set of mostly unwritten
rules such as the one many of our parents in my community
taught us when we were children: “be home before the street
lights come on.” As children we knew the consequences of
not following that unwritten rule.
Who has etiquette? I’m glad you
asked. Everyone has a form of etiquette but not every form
of etiquette is appropriate everywhere.
Let’s look at three personal vs.
professional etiquette tips. The unwritten rules of
etiquette we establish in our homes or community, like the
one I mentioned above, may be different or not even exist in
other homes, communities or with people in your workplace.
So be aware, the rules may be
different wherever you go. In your workplace hard skills
such as a degree, certifications, experience, resume
etc...may have gotten you the job and is a common
denominator among the employees but your etiquette skills
like communication, relationship development, respect for
self and others, dependability, trustworthiness, and more,
are what will help you keep the job.
Social skills in the workplace
are needed but be careful not to cross the line. For
example, first, body language is a form of communication. In
your personal life, body language may not be something that
we are concerned about, besides, no one pays you to sit up
straight in your own home.
If you slouch in your chair at
home it may not affect others around you but if you slouch
in a professional meeting at work it could send the message
that you’re not interested, not attentive or lack
confidence.
Second, in your personal life
you may isolate yourself and think no one is affected by
your behavior. In your professional life, if you isolate
yourself you may be perceived as not being a team player,
lacking relationship development skills, appearing not
trustworthy or worse.
Third and finally, in your
personal life we have the option to dress in a way that
expresses our personality and creative side and many times
the way others perceive us does not matter this is who we
are. In our professional life, the dress code can usually
be found in the employee handbook.
Not complying with this written
rule may indicate that you are non-cooperative, have a
hidden agenda, or just don’t care. This may or may not cause
you your job but it can hinder your ability to move up in
the company or take advantage of other opportunities that
can increase the value you add to your company.
I would not be surprised if you
were already aware of the three etiquette tips I just shared
with you. As I mentioned earlier proper etiquette is not
new however research has shown that employers are spending
nearly 20 percent of their operating cost to replace
employees due to lack of workplace etiquette skills.
Employers are looking for the entire package in their
employees: hard skills and soft skills (etiquette).
On September 1, 2015 Lucas
County declared September National Workforce Development
Month. What are you doing to increase your workforce
development etiquette skills? Let us know.
I will end this article with a
quote from President Obama “For all the cruelty and hardship
of our world we are not mere prisoners of fate. Our actions
matter and can bend history in the direction of justice.”
Reeves Etiquette & Image
Consulting LLC. teaches etiquette and image skills that
empower children and adults to build relationships and
success with confidence, personal integrity and respect (C.P.R.).
We show how the soft skills of etiquette and image can
strengthen families, increase earnings and build
communities.
“Because Manners Matter”
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