|
However, losing a lot of weight was strange. It took a
while for me to realize that I don’t wear extra large
clothes and, often times, a large is too big. Occasionally,
I can buy something in a medium…woo hoo!!
My struggle is daily. I’d like to say that I’m the same
person I always was, overweight or otherwise, but I’m not. I
still catch my reflection in the mirror and see curves where
lumps used to be, and smile. But it does throw you off a
little bit. It’s hard to accept the size 12 person staring
back at you when you’ve spent years looking in the mirror at
a size 18/20 body!!
That’s why I truly believe weight loss should be a
slow-burning process. I’m sure that seeing yourself
differently, because you know you’ve put in months and years
of hard work to get there, has a very different impact on
you than waking up after surgery or extreme, sudden weight
loss.
I completely understand how it’s easy to regain weight if
you drop 100 pounds quickly, because in your head, you’re
still the same person. You haven’t learned how to live
in a different body, or how to maintain it – and you’re not
psychologically prepared for the change in yourself and
those around you. I’ve seen it over and over again. This
isn’t just about how you see yourself. Having lost weight,
I’ve found myself being treated differently by family,
friends, and yes, even strangers.
Not better…differently!!
Only now can I see how different people treat those they
feel are overweight. There’s a certain persona attached to
being a big girl that I and so many others played up to –
trying to be louder, funnier, bubblier, at least that was
how I handled myself while overweight. I’m not saying I
made a fool of myself, but there were plenty of events,
parties, where I pretended to have a blast wearing a size 20
dress, while others dressed in the size dress I used to
wear. Unfortunately, in today’s world, people are quick to
judge and comment on others appearances based on their own
life, style, size, etc.
If you’ve never experienced an extra 20 or 30 pounds on your
body, how could you possibly know how I or others feel or
felt. That’s why I love sharing my fitness story, I know how
it feels to carry 70 pounds of extra weigh.
But the thing is, I’m not skinny, nor will I ever be,
or want to be. My goal has always been to walk into a
regular size store, not a plus size store, to try on a size
12 or 14 that fits comfortably (without a spanx)!!
One of the things that’s really changed for me in my
full-body-overhaul has been my confidence – because I’ve
worked hard, I know my strengths, and I know that – compared
to how I looked eight years ago, I look good. I feel
good!! I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I’m happy –
and while it sounds like a cliche, when things are good on
the inside, it’s shows on the outside too.
It does mean, though, that I now look back on my old self
through new eyes – and while I think I had good reasons for
getting to where I was, weight-wise, it does make me sad to
look back and realize that I was so miserable before. And I
sort of hate writing that, because I don’t believe that
everyone has to be skinny to be happy. I wouldn’t argue that
at all – but personally as an overweight woman, I was never
really happy.
The long, painful journey to lose 70 pounds is part of the
reason I’m happy today. I’m happier because, I did the work,
I chose to eat less and to move more!! I’m stronger for my
struggle.
So yes, I feel different, and I feel better, but as usual –
it’s not just about losing weight. Getting fit is a
psychological process, it requires a 100 percent commitment
– which is why diets fail. You have to go into it with the
intention of changing your life, and be prepared to struggle
to make it happen. You’ll work hard, and – if you’re like me
– you’ll want to throw in the towel over and over again!!
But once it becomes a routine part of your life – which
happens sooner than you might think – you’ll realize that
you know yourself, and you believe in yourself, more than
you thought you ever would!!!
Your Sista In Fitness!!!
Angela R. Steward
Head Instructor & Owner of
FABULOUSLY FIT
1855 S. Reynolds Rd., Suite C (in Olive Garden Plaza)
Toledo, Ohio 43614
Email:
FabFitu@yahoo.com
Phone: 419-699-9399
Classes: Mon 9a & 6p, Tues 6p, Wed 6p, Thurs 6p & Sat 9a
|
