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Here are those paragraphs: ”Two scholars, Marianne Bertrand
and Sendhil Mullainathan, send out fictitious resumes in
response to help wanted ads. Each resume was given a name
that either sounded stereotypically African-American or one
that sounded white, but the resumes were otherwise basically
the same.
The study found that a resume with a name like Emily or
Greg received 50 percent more callbacks than the same resume
with a name like Lakisha or Jamal. Having a white-sounding
name was as beneficial as eight years’ work experience.”
Yes, you read it right, according to these authors, job
recruiters, among other categories of decision makers who
have the power to say yes or no to you, can look at a name
and make a conscious or even an unconscious judgment about
who you are, ethnic grouping wise.
Is it fair? Is it right? No, on both occasions but it
happens all too frequently when a minority job applicant
sends in an error free resume that meets or exceeds the
employer’s job expectations; and he or she is then befuddled
by a lack of a response for that crucial first interview.
Could it have anything to do with the name of the
applicant? Duh…Ya think so?.
I have said before that “you people” (smile) need to
quit naming your kids as if you were in a contest to see who
could weigh down their child with the worse ten-ton name
that shouts, “I’ am black, don’t hire me!”
Now, of course, not every employer is going to be so
jaded and hard hearted that they are going to use your
moniker to immediately expel you from the pool of possible
applicants for that peach of a job.
But. Why. Take. A . Chance?
I mean, parents (and this is directed mostly to the
teen-age moms who think that they are being creative and
cute with naming their kids with wild and crazy names), give
the kid a fighting chance so that he or she will not have to
second guess why they were not called back for an office job
or a managerial job because they have a name that is
practically un pronounceable.
What is up with these names that have apostrophes and
hyphens in them? Tell me that you just had to name your
daughter, Di’Ophtheria or your son, Bus-Dammeroll?
I have a theory that when these moms were in the delivery
room or the recovery room and still under the influences of
the drugs that were administered to them for their post
delivery pain, that is when they started yammering out names
for the new born child.
If that new born could have spoken, she or he would
have yelled out, “don’t you dare put that name on me!”
I have been so traumatized by the names that I see in
the court records that I have pledged to list 10 girl and
boys names that should never, ever cross the lips of any
responsible parent.
I plan to introduce legislation in Toledo City Council
that if any parent chooses any of the below names, that the
probate court should forcibly intervene and change that name
to something that is more dignified or easier to be
pronounced.
The penalty for disobedience would be a fine of $1,000
and the child being placed in temporary foster care until
the parents are re-educated as to the significance that a
name has and what it can do to a child’s psyche.
So, here are the prohibited names. If your child’s name is
on the list, it is by divine coincidence and I would suggest
that you immediately seek a name change in order to maximize
your child’s career chances:
BOYS:
GIRLS:
A’donte
Shauntae (tee)
Margulus
Pho’Flenta
De-Jarven
Aristovalsia
Georg acious
Charissoma
Van’man
Burrleena
Vyy’Ka
Estermeraldia
Arphelleen
Von-Drella
Errstanion
Uvelloprida
Sannion’dre
Dephandrella
Kyerbee
Hycanithesia
Now, there are exceptions. If your child is gifted in
the arts or music, then he or she can have a name like the
famed cellist, Yo-Yo Ma, or like the artist, Picasso, and
they can get away with such a name because it is expected
that artsy-type people are a little “different” and their
different names are given a pass by society.
So, the next time you get the urge to plant some
nine-syllable name on a child, think about it. If you want
creativity, take a jewelry-making class or clarinet lessons
or take up Thai cooking but leave being creative out of it
when it comes to naming your kid!
I know…I know…I will get e mails ranting and raving
about this article but, hey, my first full name is Lafayette
so I am entitled!
Contact Lafayette (Lafe) Tolliver at
Tolliver@juno.com
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