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From: Sexual Assault: A Violation of God’s Body by Rev.
Linda Thomas, PhD
This has been a difficult week for me. I noticed a distinct
change in my mood after the presidential debate. I knew that
something was very wrong with what I witnessed. I knew it
intellectually and the clearest signal that something was
extraordinarily out of alignment was when my body began to
“speak.” Memories flooded my mind.
I have been ordained for 35 years and in that time, whether
it was during the time I worked with youth, single young
adults, or married women, the fact is that assault – sexual,
verbal, physical, emotional – was a significant part of a
narrative I heard and responded to pastorally. It was also a
narrative to which I could speak personally.
So, when I heard my friend Michelle Obama say, “(This has)
shaken me to my core in a way that I couldn’t have
predicted,” during her impassioned speech, I felt a
congruence with that statement. Michelle said what I knew
but did not yet have words for.
Something within me asked, “Who will speak to what has
happened from a perspective of faith?”
When it comes to asking that sort of question, like Moses, I
did not and do not want to speak to “this” issue of sexual
assault but I feel called to say a FEW words, as much as my
introvert self would like to eschew that responsibility.
Pain compels me to speak.
First, people of faith – whether rostered or lay – need to
be culturally competent around issues of sexual assault.
Sexual assault breeds a culture that normalizes women being
objectified, demeaned, and unsafe at the pleasure of men. It
is a violation beyond imagination that ruptures if not
shatters a woman’s body and spirit.
Depending on the person’s constitution and the power
dynamics between the victim and the abuser, one may be
forced to cut off a part of herself or himself in order to
function. This is much more than splitting oneself. It is a
survival mechanism that numbs one’s spirit and may interfere
and/or block one’s potential. In sum, sexual assault as well
as other assaults is similar to cutting off a part of one’s
being while that person still has to function, but with a
sense of loss that deadens emotional nerves. Needless to
say, it can also dramatically inhibit or damage someone’s
ability to enjoy the good gifts of sexuality as God’s good
creation.
Because “good people often minimize these experiences” one
learns to suppress feelings which, in turn, often causes an
ongoing disorienting trauma; yet, the victim must press on
with day-to-day living. So, when Trump’s words from the
Howard Stern tape as well as the “Access Hollywood” video
were played repeatedly for many women, children, and men [or
people who may or may not identify with these identities],
may have felt something that had been dormant begin to stir
within. I wrote elsewhere, “What the mind forgets, the body
remembers,”
and for many those memories stored in the deep freezer of
our bodies begins to thaw.
That’s what happened to me, and it became worse as the week
progressed. I was a wreck—not being able to focus or process
clearly, having my sleep interrupted. Sometimes I would just
contemplate in utter disbelief of what Donald Trump’s words
unleashed in our public discourse. It was evil and vile. I
wanted to close my daughter’s ears as well as my own. I was
angry, absolutely livid–the one emotion that my superego
keeps “under control” lest people experience me as an “angry
black woman” and call the police, which as we all know can
result in my being put in jail, or shot.
Intersectionality creeps in and I don’t know which one to
process. All I know is that I cannot get angry, but God damn
it (and I mean that quite literally and in full awareness of
the theological implications) I am outraged, because sexual
assault is violating God’s body and that’s what Donald Trump
did and boasted about. God help this man, yes, this child of
God who in my mind has no functioning superego and is mostly
id gone wild. Even with all of this craziness, I return to
the promises of my faith, “God cannot be trumped.” I, along
with others, may flourish given time and safe space.
What are ministerial leaders called to do in such a time as
this?
First we need to listen to Narratives,
understanding the macro-narratives that are dominant in our
culture and society because of power. Check in with
yourself—what is your narrative? Do you hold a story that
someone told you about being sexually or otherwise
assaulted? Did you witness the violation of a loved one as a
child? (I did).
Second, —notice what’s going on around you.
Most importantly, read the emotional landscape. That is,
read the culture to which you are most closely connected at
home, at church, at work, in your daily comings and goings.
Third, consider being involved in Congregationally Based
Community Organizing
that deals with deeply embedded layers that support racism,
sexism, classism and are lodged in institutions that are
patriarchal and often fully misogynistic.
We witnessed a candidate for the presidency of the United
States of America on a public stage attempt to humiliate the
first woman nominated for the presidency of the US. We also
witnessed this woman have to answer for her husband’s
behavior, be called “the devil,” be threatened to be
imprisoned, and be told that she should be ashamed of
herself for her actions towards three women who committed
adultery with her husband. This was shameless and, yes, it
was the assault of a woman on a global stage.
Things will change when we organize. Don’t think that Donald
Trump’s behavior is normative – call it out for what it is.
But recognize too that, while it might not be normal, it
does reflect deeply embedded patterns of patriarchy and
systems in our country. As Lutheran theologian Robert Saler
puts it, “He is the lump that signals the cancer in the body
politic that the collective mind of that body would prefer
to deny.” Support women who are telling their stories from
35 years ago. Offer them the gift of listening and think of
ways you can join others to serve the interests of the
vulnerable.
Finally, know that forgiveness is the last step.
Yes, that is what I said.
Let yourself and help others to work through feelings. Give
yourself and others the space to get through actions that
occurred decades ago. And know that intersectionality
“complexifies” things for women of color who are the
descendants of enslaved people, or historically dominated
people as well as marginalized folks who do not identity
with their birth-gender. These children of God are violated
often and brutally. Support people in getting help for
themselves and, most importantly, be loving toward yourself
and those with rekindled painful memories. Presence is
sometimes more important than offering words that may be
more harmful than helpful.
Linda E. Thomas studies, researches, writes, speaks and
teaches about the intersection and mutual influence of
culture and religion. An ordained Methodist pastor for 35
years with a Ph.D. in Anthropology from The American
University in Washington D.C.
Contact Rev. Donald Perryman, D.Min, at
drdlperryman@centerofhopebaptist.org
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